There’s no such thing as the perfect person, and I don’t think we truly understand what this means. We all think that we deserve someone who has EVERYTHING when we don’t really stop to think that we don’t have everything ourselves. One of the best things I’ve ever heard was “flaws aren’t flaws when it’s you that makes the call” and that’s so true. I really need to remember that because it would save me so much trouble and heartache.
0021
Do people ever really change or do they just delay their ways long enough to fool everyone around them?
0019
Well lately my days have been busy but whenever people ask me what I do with my time I have a hard time answering. I feel like my days go by almost too quickly.
It’s strange for some reason saying all the things I had been keeping to myself helped me alleviate the feelings I was having.
0017
I got into am argument with my roommate today because he tried to do his whole “Im intimidating routine” and that isn’t going to fly with me. Im not going to let myself be bossed around or intimidated by some moron with what seems to be an elementary level education and no people skills. He’s the kind of person that gets louder to try and prove his point and I certainly dont respond to that. Which is another reason I can’t stand to be at home anymore. Its stressful. I feel so displaced though. No real home anymore.
0016
I went hiking and camping at Joshua Tree and that was astounding. It’s so different then the things I’ve done before. I want to go rock climbing now!
0015
Today was filled with an overwhelming sense of displacement and longing. Longing for things that aren’t there anymore and will never be there ever again, it’s painfully human to always be wanting things that you cant have. It’s also a tragically hilarious and obvious way to set yourself up for failure. It’s that whole situational irony of wanting things you don’t have and then sabotaging what you do have only to find yourself in a far worse position then before. The entire thing is exasperating but I’d file it away in a manila folder titled “another reason why life is bullshit” and be done with the entire thing. Is there anyway to ever truly escape the everyday setbacks that leave you wondering if life is a giant set of tiny annoying obstacles meant to obstruct your way to happiness. The idea of being content for longer than a moment seems oh so appealing but the climb up that pedestal is treacherous and every step up is greeted with anther setback. Is it completely out of bounds of me to say that I feel like I’m walking around in circles hoping that I’ll find my way out one day.
